I love the Spanish words that don’t need to be translated to English. Unfortunately, there are few that fall into this category, but hey, at least we have “NO!” A big challenge I’ve faced in my work down here is in knowing how and when to say NO to requests. (It’s a lot easier said than done.)
Anyone in healthcare will attest that they are constantly getting bombarded with health questions from people when they’re not working, no matter what continent they’re on. However, I have to say, I’ve never had it quite so intensely as I do here.
The other day I was in the bathroom at a hospital after a meeting, and as I left the stall, a patient cornered me and shoved a bunch of x-ray and MRI reports into my hands. She overhead me talking with the PT’s and wanted me to do an eval right then and there! As I pondered this strangers’ diagnostic imaging amidst this dirty, crowded bathroom, I realized that I am still pretty terrible at saying no to requests.
Peruvians are definitely not shy when it comes to asking for favors. Host family, friends, friends of friends, co-workers (even fellow PT’s), random people on the street… Sometimes it puts me in really awkward positions, such as when clinic staff insist they or their family members be treated for free, or when the surgeon insists that I accommodate some of his patients outside of my schedule, or when one of the nuns show up at my door and my schedule is already jam-packed full of patients for the day. (Is it a sin to say no in this case?) When people show up after hours when I’m about to head home… when people literally show up on my doorstep when I’m not working… when it happens during my weekends… when I have a “meeting” with someone and I arrive to find out he really just wants me to treat a room full of his waiting patients on my lunch break.
Or, once a patient gets a foot in the door, “Hey, my __________ (insert friend or family member here) has these symptoms – what do you think it is?” Or, “Now that you’ve evaluated my back, neck, and knee, can you look at this pain in my finger?” Or, my latest favorite, “I know you’re not supposed to, but can you inject this medicine (holds up vials of liquid steroid) into my spinal canal? Because I just can’t afford to have the doctor do it.” (Well, yeah, I said no to that one….)
I think what makes it so overwhelming is that it’s at a constant high level – it never seems to let up. I open the door to call a patient into the therapy room and have people literally running up to bombard me with requests. Being my own “secretary,” there’s also a constant knock on the door in the middle of my treatment sessions.
What it boils down too is that I’m a sucker and usually end up coming in an hour early and staying a few hours late, and the notion of a 40-hour work week is far from reality. I’ve gotten better about using NO, and trying to stick to the schedule more, but it’s so hard here. Especially when I get the “Senorita, porrrr favorrrr” from the family members of the woman recovering from a stroke - who sit outside my door for hours until I say yes – and even though my schedule is over-booked, I just know that she desperately needs the care to better her quality of life.
It bothers me that I get special attention, treatment or respect, just based on the fact that I’m a foreigner. It frustrates me that there’s the ulterior motive with many people, but at the same time it frustrates me even more that there’s a shortage of access to rehabilitation services here!
Asi es la vida…
You are not a sucker for saying yes all the time. Even if you did say no more often people would still come to you. It's the culture, I had this in Nicaragua too, at first I thought many just wanted to be friends but then realized it was because they wanted English classes. I was annoyed in the beginning, but I think one has to realize that maybe they want to be your friend too, but they see you as an opportunity as well, and there are MANY less opportunities for people in underdeveloped countries, so when they see one they want to take advantage to try to get just a little bit a head.
ReplyDeleteAmber what you're doing for all those people already is amazing. My mom always tells me to take care of myself, and Amber, take care of yourself too. You are only one person and I know that you are doing the absolute best right now so if there are people that you can't help, well that's perfectly alright. And as far as all the friends, family, & co-workers, that doesn't sound like it's going to stop but I hope that at least you can remind yourself that all those people trust you enough to ask for help for their loved ones.
ReplyDeleteHang in there lady, hope you can find some ways to deal with all the overwhelming amounts of people rushing to your door!! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!
Saying 'No' sometimes can be a powerful thing. It show's that you have boundaries and it lets others know that there are better ways to get help then just charging you in the bathroom. That being said, I think different culture's see you as someone who CAN help and so bombarding you with questions & off-hour service requests doesn't seem invasive to them. Keep up the great work. Remember, as long as you are giving your best, that is all that anyone can ask of you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just gotta say no. In pretty much anything in life, there is always more one can do. We can always work an extra hour, run (or swim!) an extra mile, etc etc. At some point though, if left to our own devices, we decide "enough's enough." I know it's hard to say no to people in need, particularly if they're really pushy. But, from a practical standpoint, trying to do too much can actually make things worse. You can get sick or burned out. At the very least, you shouldn't feel guilty about saying "no" :)
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